Motivation from a place of lack will leave you unhappy at the finish line

ADHD Assist
3 min readJan 23, 2022

We all have dreams and goals, some loftier than others, but did you ever stop and think of the source of this motivation?

Sometimes we set very high standards for ourselves — hello 👋 high achievers and A-type personalities — and if we haven’t met them or aren’t where we feel we should be, this automatically creates more shame real estate within ourselves.

Should can be a dangerous word to use frequently in your vocabulary. It ever so kindly sets us up for feeling some degree of disappointment in ourselves. These negative feelings can then be the fuel added to the flaming fire of shame that is coercing us to be someone different from who we are right now.

“Shame is a soul-eating emotion.” — Carl Jung

It is this shame that we try to outrun and prove wrong by achieving goals that align us with the initial should standard we set for ourselves.

Is striving for our dreams from a place of lack the best course of action? Will it magically dissipate like a puff of smoke when we have arrived at our destination?

I fear not.


After we have achieved something by running away from the ugly shame monster, it will enthusiastically rear its head once again, only to make us feel inadequate in some other way.

Oh, I hear you. Your self-judgement is loud and clear and is objecting to this loudly: “Without me, this body owner will not do anything! They will be lazy and sit on the couch binging on the newest Netflix series with a bag of chips in hand”.

Is this true? Do we need negativity as a reinforcement to run, nay sprint, towards our goals?

Maybe there is a better way.

What if we lowered our ego-based standard that says you are not enough and you need to make something of yourself and replace it with the beloved empathy and self-acceptance, which sings the chorus “you are enough” that will reverberate in your entire being.

Whether you are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company or simply cleaning your floor, you are enough.

The best practice for achieving goals alongside long-term happiness is to first focus on loving and accepting ourselves where we are at, and then pursue goals based on wanting to feel expansion and living out our passions and dreams. Some food for thought.

First — radical self-acceptance.

Second — pursue goals with self-acceptance as a foundation.

Give it a try.



ADHD Assist

160K+ followers on TikTok @adhd_assist. Talking shop about ADHD and natural solutions that can help improve our lives.